I Love You, do u love me?

15th February 2011, 12.51am

I cant believe that one day has passed just like that, perhaps time tend to walk slower when you are sad, and walk 10x faster when you are super duper mega ultra happy, ok, i sounded a bit cheesy now, but, guess what? Something has just happened in my life, and it is way more dramatic and cheesier than what one can think of..

Your voice clip has been playing and playing while i am writing this, and my tears were dropping no matter how many times I have listened to it.. Now that i know how essential a song is in triggering girls' tear glands, and most important, you have chosen the right song.

Just when i entered the house, i heard your voice, was really really suprised, for a moment i think i was blank, then immediately i saw roses on the table, a laptop and candles, and many many pictures of ours. You were talking, with background music "two is better than one" playing, many many tear drops, i quickly wipe away, just so that they wont block my eye-sight, everything at that moment was like a dream, like they gonna disappear at anytime soon, i wouldn't want to miss a thing. Realising that I've missed some of the words that you said, I quickly rewind the voice clip, everything starts to play again, you started to talk again, just that this time with some background noises behind, I didnt realise that Skype was on and you were shouting for me! *blurr..

We dated on Skype, you wore a shirt with jeans, white shirt with black colour stripes, just like the last time i saw you, difference is that i could hug you last time, and this time you are 50o98765 miles away from me.

Thank you darling, really really thank you. Thanks for everything. Thanks for the song (my Valentine's Day gift, and one more is coming!)

Dear dear, your voice is kinda different in the voice clip, compared to when you are on the phone, i dunno why, but it makes me miss u a lot a lot.. wish I can see you now, hold you, hug you and kiss you..

You have given me a lot more than what I've asked for, and I'm really really grateful, I Love You, Dear. In returns, i promise that i will be a more considerate girlfriend, give you as much freedom as I can, will not doubt you anymore, and be a more more supportive girlfriend.

Thanks again for everything, I Love You, forever.

想

想家了。。

想马来西亚了。。

想。。。

想很多东西。。 搞到自己不开心。。。

昨天叩妈妈，忍着眼泪不让它流，最终却还是在挂电话后大哭一场，在英国哭得最惨的一次。。

还以为自己会像别人说的一样，会忙着适应生活而不会想家，看来这不适合套用在我身上。。

妈妈顾着我的学业，担心我会因为无法适应气候所以考不好，会要我买Heater， 会要我早睡。。

还好上次测验的分数不错，否则我一定内疚到死，然后会哭得更惨。。。

妈妈我会用功读书的，我会紧记自己在这里的任务，我一定会把成绩考好，让家人为我而感到骄傲的。heater 已经买了，现在只要我看到它，我就会记得那是用妈妈辛苦赚的血汗钱而买的，当我用它时，房间不止是满满的温暖，更是有妈妈和家人的爱与关怀。。

原来即使身边有的是一班朋友，寂寞与孤独的感觉仍然可以侵蚀你的心。。

好久不见

什么时候开始，我再也不能第一时间让你知道我的一切了。。

喜怒哀乐。。

我再也不能无时无刻拿起电话就拨你的号码， 除了需要在那组号码前加06， 我还需要在当地时间加7个小时，还要考虑你是否在上课，睡觉，玩乐。。

你曾说不喜欢我每次打来就匆匆地把电话挂了，因为每次挂电话以后你都会变得沉默了。。所以那次以后我都尽量让我们畅谈，不要两分钟就挂电话。。 直到现在， 不管我是否去计较那几分钟，你已不一定有那个时间给我了。。

也许是我太滥用电话了，一点小事就非得吵醒你不可，所以才会搞到自己真的不开心的时候不能好好向你倾诉。。

二十一岁了，总不能什么事情都向人吐苦水吧，既然以前我可以把一切都收在心里，现在更应该没有问题。。所以，好久不见，隐藏。

我会再一次学习自己解决问题，又或者，学习怎么不开心的自己开心起来。。 以前没有你的生活，又再次让我体验了。我不想要依赖你，不想把自己开心的理由都放在你的身上，在这里遇到的任何问题，我都会尝试自己解决。。

就算受伤了，也会让自己偷偷地好起来。。

我们的生活步伐再也不一样了，是否意味着我的心情感受再也不能随时传达给你啊？

远方的朋友出了意外，她的手，脚和背部都被火烧伤了，在深切治疗部已经好一段时间，试问这段期间的她，又有谁可以依靠呢。。朋友们是可以通过facebook，email连络她，问候她，但是真正了解她的痛的人又有多少呢。。就连我也是现在才知道，好惭愧。。希望她早日康复，并靠着科技的发达早日恢复美丽的脸孔。。